Its not the face but the heart.

There's a girl that i like trying to avoid from me somehow last yesterday and today, clearly trying to avoid face to face conversation and getting nearby me. She used to be friendly and i gave her two small stuffy animal gift to cheer her up in the past but somehow thing doesn't always turn out right. Was she having stress at work or simply i'm not her type? Maybe i look like crap this week. Or maybe i was meant for her. Anyways i should improve myself and work hard in short period if i would like to have a very special friend.
Oh, speaking of friend for the past few months especially after my birthday, my department colleague behaviour seems to be very suspicious and try to avoid something from me. They seem to be silent and talk 'things' behind me. I don't know what was going on. It happens when i'm busy concentrating my work for the whole month improving my goal and vision but they look disapproval about my doings. Relationships are tension because both sides misunderstood what i have been through the whole month. Work preasure, stress, money management, part time work for extra side income, learning new things and stuff keep me busy whole day which turn me into weirdo, they think my life is easy going, i guess they don't know much about life being adult. Sometimes it made me think that my current job position as technical support sounds too low profile which create gap of relationship againts engineers, programmers and the IT management...It looks like my Degree Certificates with years of programming and network learning gone wasted. The workload also way to heavy for such low profile job and very risky since PR (public relation) and dirty hand labour on tech works compared to diploma holders on keyboards. There's is only one person i respect the most in MIS dept.... he work very hard both during the day and at night, no shame doing low profile works even treated bad for his low wage work but he knew to survive he have to do it for a better future. He remains humble even receive critics from his own colleague. When i look at him i smile and happy that someone share the same fate for a better life. God bless this guy.
Anyways i felt lucky this month, good thing this month i don't have any big projects going on so i get on with normal life except my office colleague. I made few profit but everthing use to pay for insurance and loan spending especially my two cars and personal house in KUCHING city. I'm now waiting for the final batch payment which i'll be using as personal expenditure, so far i haven't receive any feedback from the bank if they did receive the final deposits into my bank account. My client confirm they have sent over to my bank as acknowledged by their mail agents....i'm getting worried. I'm now counting days for it.
I remember i made promises to a girl colleague about treat her for buffet after project completion (the one who receive Teddy Bear for birthday), but after thinking twice about their discriminative behaviour i decided to take back my promises and better spend my money wise on usefull things like fixing my bike.