The cat returns for last visit.

I'm not sure if i did mention this story before on this blog but i'll try to bring it up again. The image of orange cat came to my mind vividly this week as i recalled years ago when i live alone in a house in KUCHING city west of borneo continent.

7 years ago i was enjoying my hobby building 3d models (CYBORX) on my computer located in the dining room which from there i can see clear straight view through my living room with opening doors towards outside the corridor. I was busy focusing my attention on my computer screen when suddenly i have a warm feeling a guest was at the living room. I looked at the living room near the door and saw a healthy orange white tabby cat lay down comfortably in the middle, grooming itself licking paws and face. Its doesn't show much hostility at my presence especially in my house, looked felt comfortable as he see me from where i am. "It must be someone's house cat out of curiosity wondering into my house" as said in my thoughts. The orange and white tabby cat made a direct happy eye contact at me as if saying he is very much in happy state and comfort. i said "meow" and it just lay down like a happy cat. The i took my eyes of the cat and get back staring on my computer screen in just a few seconds and when i stare back its gone. I walk over hastily to the coridor to see if i can cought a glance where it could have walk out butthe cat was no where to be found. However i do feel warm and welcomed at the cat presence as if its trying to relay me a sign or something. At the sometime i have a familiar feeling i've met this cat before.

After long pause i realised i just encounter the same cat which i hit it the night i drove on my red car along the road as the orange cat try to cross the road in the middle of the night. It was a very bad timing and accidentally hit the cat seconds when it leap and ran across the road, i could feel the bumper hit it and roll over the wheels with bumps at the rear as i knew it was the skull. It was agonizing and terrifying incident, i couldn't stop and look back is the road crowded with trails of cars behind me. That night i was petrified that i just killed a cat and lost for words because i do have soft spot for cats, before i sleep i made prayers for the cat soul and ask for forgiveness in the dark was begging to GOD that the cat soul be sent to the Heaven and be happy in its his or her new happy home.

A now i'm happy after realised it came back to visit me telling me it was okay and its happy now in a far away place. I do recalled i have a bit tears in my eyes knowing the cats is now a happy cat in GOD's heaven. Not far away from the place where the cat was layed down comfortably in the living room is a Holy Cross hanging on the wall facing towards us giving us blessing for such beautiful reunion.

I come from a cat loving family i do understand very well about the aspect of cat behaviour. I love cats because the have very unique personality, life and socially humourous.

Why don't we all be like this MEOW

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Happy Mothers day

Today is a very special day tribute to all mothers especially to my mother. "HAPPY MOTHERS DAY". I get back home early from my usual mountain biking gathering in the afternoon. Reach home by 6pm and took bath. Went out to town and got ourself a nice decent dinner table where my parents and sister gather around enjoying dinner all nice seafood dishes. Of course its my treat today for my dearest loving mother and family. As usual i ordered my favorite butter prawn dishes to keep my spirit high in my stomach. My mom enjoyed it too. I manage to give her a card and present to express our love and thanks for her contribution to us. From her expression she was indeed very happy and gratefull that we're all together to share those happy moments. As we having our meal i watch my mother sip a bowl of ginseng soup slowly and looked into her eyes, skins and every feature of her. Very wrikley, aged and not as active as she used to be when i was young at teen age. Looks helpless i realised its time to pay her back with respect and gratitude. My mom raise us very well into a life full will all necessity that we need to keep us happy and educated. We as a children well protected and well pampered though i heard in the past she never had much luxury in life when she was young as my mother was born in a small village where electricity and modern things hard to come by. ...all wooden, fire stove, water and enough roofed shelter to keep her and her parent well lived back in those days. I guess i realised my mother don't want us to live in her old ways and raise us in such lucky environment. Even thou my parent live in such moderate economy class family they did their best to give us top notch education, food, facilities and entertainment without thinking themselves but all for the sake of their children...us. I don't think i can have such big capacity to be like her so i'm very much amaze with the volume of hardwork she pour onto us. She is almost getting into her 60's now. I was much worried as her health began to deteriorate. All the best i can do now is to make her happy, make a big family, a grandchildren for her soon and make sure she live with a life full off happy memories before the days ends. We as her children would like to say thanks for everything and there nothing in this world that can match her hardwork and love our onto us. We want her to be happy and we'll always be her side when in need. "HAPPY MOTHERS DAY" mom,

The hospital

Hospital is a sad place. Where human error, misfortune and ignorance of living being ended in this place. It’s a both human repair center and bad place to end life in it. Ok so I did and always in the past tour around several rooms full of patient just to visit love ones held in there. Looking at several faces of patient held there you can see more and more sympathetic faces with those gleaming stare into your eyes non-verbally giving impression in their feeling “only if god give me second chances in life”. Its all true for those outcome ended in permanent deadly diseases like cancer, final stage tumor, comma, stroke and others that causes ones only have a month or two to live. Patient like this they don’t talk a lot, silent, staring very long at one blank point, no face expression, they eat less and always watching outside far into the distance or staring other patient’s happiness whose crowded around with families which he/she have none. In their feeling echo’s words “only if I”, “why ended this way?”, “god why?”……… Sometimes I peek in the corner watching them how they confront with their own mental suffering. Their room was gloomy I can feel the gloomy and sad aura around that person. Watching them is like watching a sad movie but in real live, I know how they felt having able to count days of their life no chances having to see see how big the world is. If I were a doctor I would let the patient go in stead of held their until their death bed arrive. Let them go and let the have their final chances to explore, enjoy they world and be with the family for the last time even the pain in their body grows. Love counts, pain is just emotion.
Sadly enough all these patient are very young. Aged between 24 and 40’s they already contracted permanent diseases which willl end their live soon. Urban and rich lifestyle really paid off onto their body. Cell phone radiation, high chemical content on foods, work stress/hazzard, high speed car, night life, unsafe sex, hazardous chemical on human cosmetics and uncontrolled drugs consumption lead them to the end of the road. It’s a modern age tragedy for those chasing for fortune, glory, fame and excessive prosperity. Which makes me wonder why people who live in the forest lives longer than in the urban.
Why would I bother write this stuff down. Yes, as a reminder to me not to spent to much being part of luxury life, pursue fortune and consume to much of wealthy food and lifestyle which indirectly impact our bodily health. I thank to my father and mother who raise me, I was born moderate lifestyle balance on both urban and green world. My father taught me being active outside and adventurous. My mother cooks nice safe food and provide me spiritual life and emotional support to keep me well disciplined and live a clean healthy life. Even tough after years of living life wasn’t perfect for me, didn’t not became a rich man yet but lucky I live a very healthy and active life free from sickness. “Happiness comes from health, not wealth”.

Childhood

Sunday in Limbang Church, breezy morning. Problem is my cold and feverish feeling started to bleak out into my brain, goo started to ooze from my nose but yet i remain 90% sane and capable. I couldn't stick much around in the church else i'll be spreading the cold to neary by neighbout so i decided to walkout for a fresh air outside and look around some interesting places. For me the outside compound wasn't much foreign to me. surrounding the church are old 70's blue woooden kindergarden schools, teachers quarters, primary schools and the old bridge crossing the big drain which by far most prominent landmarks stood permanent after 30 years.
Back then there was so much love and caring between me any my father, bond between father and son is strong. I was only 6 back then in this very place where i stand. I can still remember my father always be there watching over me outside the kindergarden classroom, feeding me during lunchtime, pick me up home on his old 60's vespa after school and by noon afterworks brrought us munchies to keep us happy everyday, During his spare times he always bring me out for a jog around behind the school and then would help me push the rocking chair at the playground with my sister everyweekend. There's not much material toys for us to shower for but we are much happier that our father always keep us happy and protect us as we always hold hands where ever we go. My life as kid was full of happiness, no despair yet fail to see who's behind all these possibilities, only after 23 years i'm back at the same place touching the same soil flash back the memories seeing mirage of an adult holding hands with a child on the children playground distance from where i stood...i realised its was all my fathers endless love and support.

Grandma hometown: Part 3 -Monday

Monday 23, Time to go home. Before that leaving the place my favorite uncle who is my mother's little brother gave a me a nice present to add to my Radio Control collection. I was surprise to receive a high quality built R/C buggy made fully from cold forged alloy chassis that was made back in the early 80's. Its was a collectors item a TAMIYA SUPER CHAMP. Wow!!! i was excited and thanked my uncle who was a hard core Radio Control enthusiast. I packed my things and head to the airport along with my little sister and 3 cousins who were heading to the same flight destination as i do. I had great times and felt glad that i renew my visits to this place after absent for more than 5 years. Glad to be on tour.

Grandma hometown: Part 2 -Sunday

Sunday 22, Its burial event. 7.30am in the morning still cold and chilling. I didn't take my bath cuz i here you don't smell much, just brush teeth and wash my faces. Taking bath around this hour is like pouring buckets of ice cube over my body. A nice hot natural tea and biscuits for breakfast. Later at 9am we prepare some food to be cooked in mass amount for our incoming guess during lunch time. Food mainly some fresh buffalo meat, rice, vegetables and hot tea. At 10 guess have light morning snacks and then later its time for the burial ceremony where we load the coffin into the truck to be carry over to our native cemetry. There we have the usual departing prayer for our grandma and some ground work to bury the coffin. Its took almost 2 hours under the hot morning sun. By 12pm noon everyone back to my place for mass lunch ceremony and feast on tasty lunch. Being as hungry as horse i munched 6 bowls of crusty beef floss....yummy!! i don't usually have this kind of chances back at my home. Crusty flossed beef is always been my favorite. According to our mother side tradition funeral ceremony last for 14 days which usual activity include night rosary prayers and big dinner for family, relatives and friends.... it means it doesn't end there yet. So lots of work to do for 14 day, Luckily i'm not going to be long enough here to witness the ceremony because i need to go back to my hometown in MIRI and get back to work....that will be on Monday air flight going back home. At 3pm i followed my father to visit my grandmother of my father side which located few kilo's away from another side of the village, Reaching there we were greeted by our still in good shape grandmother and hos loyal furry friend, 2 cats and 2 dogs. I spend few hours in their house minalyb taking bath, snoring during nap, playing with furry friends and enjoy the view on top of the hill. She still the only grandma we have left. By night i have to pack my things, greet goodbye to my relative as i have to go back to the urban side of the town tagged along with my sister so that we could catch early flight next morning. So we stayed at my mother's sister house.

Grandma hometown: Part1 -Saturday

Ok so we know my grandma already went back to our Fathers house in heaven. So i'm sure she's now in peace and happiness in gods house. Amen.
Its been years i haven't gone back to my grandparents hometown in Limbang city, they usually live outskirt of the city far into the green country side where real friendly people live closely in harmony and live under true meaning of helpfull neighbour. I finally went over by plane last Saturday morning for funeral visit and at the same time visits cousins, relative and people who we closely tied as family. From the LIMBANG city took 30 minutes to reach the remote country side by car. As i grew older i pretty like the village where my grandparents live, its so refreshing peaceful and friendly. You dun have to worry about money life, Food and resources is all around us by nature. At my grandparents place by noon we have to prepare some meal for guest to arrive. At night everyone gathers around like big family reunion including close friend and neighbouring villages. Then later we gather for prayer to my grandma and the rest of the night as usually some people will sleep over our house while other elder hangout drunking, laughing and chatting all night until wee morning...its usual life scene nothing to be shocked about. Sleeping in country side is cold and chilling. You don't need air-cond around here. Its all natural with dense wet cold fog surrounding the house. I have to tuck around the corner of the living room cuddle my body as compact as possible to maintain body heat as there's not much blanket to cover myself as there to many room fully crowded with overnite people.

Grandma funeral. Knocking on heavens door.

Sunday is a sad day for everyone, early wee morning we prepare ourself for last view on our grandma before we send her off to the funeral ground. Relative, friends and close neighbours in my grandma's friendly village came over to give comfort and help. By around 10am we did some prayer and then buried her beside her late husband and family whose already left much earlier in the past. My mom and her sister looks very sad but calm to accept such sad departure of their love ones. I did some prayer mine over here. I just hope that she enjoy her new life in her new worl in gods land. She now knocking on heavens door greeted by her long losst love ones. We as her children and great children wishes her happiness and peace high above the heaven. Thanks grandma.

Terrible car crash!! but my family..

I was shocked when i was inform by my cousins upon my arrival to my grandma hometown that$ my family who travelled by land including my father two sister and a little brother involve in terrible self accident when they on their way to the funeral event at my grandma home village which happened during heavy during raining hours approx 120km away from the destination. I was inform late by a day when i reach hometown in Limbang just after arrival on plane me with my sister. The vehicle my father van an 8 seater plunge side of the road skid and overturned twice crushing the roof and shattered some side panels and glasses. Tyre blown off and some wheels came off. From the picture attached it looks terrified but luckily everyone on seatbelt doesn't suffer much just suffer minor bruises....my eldest sister however got heavy bumps on her left face and legs which makes her looks like a panda because arrogantly refuse to use seatbelt and at the end banged the side wall of the cabin. I was happy nothing serious had happened except costly wreckage left me wonder if i should load another new vehicle for my father next month.

Currently the vehicle is now towed to my relative who stay in a peaceful village country side where the vehicle will wait to be fixed by locals and probably sell to locals.

I'm very glad my family is safe and that's all matters the most. I thank god for not taking life of my family early as we have long journey of life to venture along. So it not our time yet. I hope our late grandma will watch over us and our lord shall watch over us too.

My Father

Yesterday night my father went over to assist me over the car problem when i have trouble over my car engine somewehere where i got stuck near the aprking lot, I called him for help and he went all over from home to the destination in wee hours of the night. He didn't says anything just answer and go. He reached there and pull out the tools and do what best to help his children under hot weather, dusty, damp and oily work on the car engine. He use all his strength to push the car, pull out s ome hard tighten bolts and something that is beyond my normal strength. He says, "start the engine"..so i did but it fail. Then he continue toiling sweats for more than an hours. I asked him we should hire mechanic or tow truck or something but he says no, everthing is fine let we do by ourself. So i just sit back and watching as i don't know much about fixing a car. Late at night everything didn't worked well so he did some DIY tow cable and tow me all they way home without hesitation or second tought.
Back at home he slept late after settle some house work, teaching my sister school stuff, helping my mom on my grandmother medical care, and get back to check the car engine. He get on back looked tired, sweatty and yet very old in his age.
Throughout my life my father never fight and question about his children needs and reason when at times when in demand. Most people father just ignore their children and assume their children can stand on their own. Lucky me my father care so much and he will take anything to protect his love ones. I knew him very much, he is not the type seeking for material gains and fortune from his children. All he want to see is a better life for his children and family. Thats it. I wish i could repay him something that could make him happy and a way to appreciate what he has contribute to us. Maybe one day i could....make him happy until the end of the days. I love my father very much, i hope he knows too. May god bless him with fortune and happiness and also protect him on his journey of life.