A gift 1/2

Yesterday i hand over a gift to a girl that i've promised to treat her buffet after the i finish up some projects, it's a friend promised thing nothing special in relation kinda stuff. Instead of buffet i gave her a Teddy bear and an MP3 player with extra spare earphones since i don't have time for buffet out side. The next day that is today she handed back the MP3 player instead she just keep keep the Teddy bear for herself. What the problem? Frankly speaking i have no use for that new MP3 on my hands since i have a better one from SONY Walkman. Since she gave up the Mp3 gift to me well i'll just happily accept it back plug it on my ear and happily listen the music for myself. If i were in her shoes i'll take it with no regret. My golden thumb rules: "If its a kind gift without no terms and condition, Just take it". She just wasted an honest opportunity. The good thing is another office worker took the bid and paid the price in cash for the new mp3. I got nothing to lose..hee hee..

Biohazard mug.

Look! its my favorite mug! Yup its the same mug i carry around and sip from it daily especially when working on the computer table beside the keyboard working out long hours on projects. Hot and cold chocolate, iced orange juice, syrup drinks, fruit juice, tea and etc. The worse part is i never had time to wash it....well sometimes. After use i would store it back into the fridge and re-use it again to fill it with another drinks without having to wash out previous drinking flavour. I'll get the nice taste of Chocolate ala Orange or sometimes i got 4 in one stuff. At worse level i didn't even wash it for 5 days by just keep it preserve cold in the freezer/fridge. Ya! ya! i know how much bacteria lived in there but so far for years i haven't got any sickness or diseases at all. Aw c'mon i even ate mud, insects, dirt and accidently swallow flying bug whenever i went out cycling at high speed...doesn't look bad for me and i didn't fell sick. On the good side one of our rider who is a doctor says its a good way to increase our anti-body and immune system when swallow those crap dirty filthy on the trails especially the jungle stuff. My immune system really did a good job fend off those pesky bacteria in my body. Haven't gotten any serious sickness for years! I guess feeding our antibody with weak bacteria helps to learn how to fend them off and build confidence in our immune system. Cool! We'll as we speak i got my mug right next to me filled with hot chocolate milo to keep me awake tonight because i have to work around the clock redesign texture and paintjobs for SIXTY-7 models and also compile documentation and tutorial for extra add-on item for my next website updates. For those who read this don't try it at home, we're professional we did it for 17 years and survive the ordeal, lol :D

Search for the Waterfall

Today were mountain biking way up on west side of the coastal forest searching for location known to have waterfall and cool place to dip in the water. Our search begins at 3.00pm and ended by 7.00pm. Were in SIBUTI division populated with minority local native live in the village deep in the forest which took 10 minutes drive from the coastal beach up north on normal car. The route into the forest was very bumpy, rocky and sometimes muddy when we get back home.
We've been through deep into the forest thick bushes, into villages, up hill and down hills scanning for possible path that leads to the mysterious waterfall which one of our buddies did encounter those beautiful places 3 years ago but can't recall the exact location. Maybe those trails lead to the waterfall have been well covered with thick plants and denses forest for too longs which erase clues to where its about. The weather today was very fine and yet hot. Not much rider turned up for this Sunday rides because they have their own agenda to attend to. So all whats left are 10 riders including one tough female rider. We spent hours into the jungle ram through bushes, jump over the river, crash into the ravine, fall into unexpected pits, doing steep downhills, cut branches and olds broken trees to bypass the are but still we haven't got any hints and spot the waterfall location. Some of us even took five just to fix up punctured tires and had a rest for some drinks. On some part of the trails especially up the hills my rear gearing system didn't shift properly to proper gearing position, it jammed and i had to manually dig the chain out and re-adjust the shifting mechanism. I notice the mechanical fault due to worn out cogs and weak retension spring which indicates its time to change to new gearing system. Looks like i have to fork out few thousand dollars to haul up some good parts (SHIMANO XTR) on the bike because overall i haven't completely change the parts on my bike. Some as old as 5 years which need heavy maintenance due to extensive worn out performance. I'll get it done next week. yeah! Ok so we couldn't find any waterfall at all, we passed as many as 12 villages and forests and also countless of hills. 6.30pm is getting dark so we exited the forest and head back home to finishing point. We sprint to the finish line, i got the first position! Was the ride worthy for today? Yup, worthy! We manage to climb the highest hills high above the sea level and enjoy the lovely view above the forest which we can see the sea over there and tooks some great picture of us riding on top of the hills. Cool!

More sunday morning work.

Well after went for morning church i went out for heavy breakfast at the coffee shop and head back home immediately to continue working on some 3d models. Today i should complete some models request for 5 sets of new custom wheels sets which could fit in customers Nissan 350Z, Pontiac GTO, NASCARS-Chevy, Clod-Buster replicas and 80's SUBARU Mud-Blaster wheels. Should be an easy job but i'll have to settle this work on Portable Acer Notebook with ATI X300 graphics because my desktop PC not yet ready to render good enough graphics for final product presentation. I'm not really satisfied with graphics rendered in Notebook PC because the standalone gpu graphics looks pretty jaggy and slightly glitched compared to card based ATI X300 on PC. Notebooks won on portability but not quality. But for now it did a good job saving my ass as my due date is around the corners. I'm planing to pick 4 days holidays next week to fly back to Kuching city to settle some housing payment, grab some bike parts/upgrades, car payment and grab a graphics hardware probably XFX Geforce 7600GS...i was expecting GT GPU core..duh.

Guardian angels alarm clock.

Oh yeah since I’ve been sleeping a lot unconsciously without any proper alarm clock setup to wake me up but still it seems I could wake up at exact time I wanted to wake and it continue so precise everyday 5.30am…..exactly hit the spot! Didn’t need any alarm clock to pester me. A coincidence?? I strongly believe I had a very handy invisible guardian taking care of me doing such stuff so I won’t miss any important schedule to meet. Sometimes I continue sleeping ignoring consequences of getting late for work a very soft and tickling voice sometimes whisper me in the ear to wake me up before I doze off. Sometimes this voice in my consciousness speaks when I’m in trouble helping me out to keep me away from danger. I guess I have a very active and caring guardian angel looking over me make sure I did the right things and keep me away from harm.

Jigoku Shoujo

We'll this week i've been accidentally sleeping on a couch for this whole week, i almost forgot i should be on the computer making some models. The reason is i've been staying up late watching Animax channel on TV (www.animax-aisa.com). I'm catching up 11.30pm episodes: "Girl from Hell". This anime is quite awkward from typical anime episodes i watched. The plot was not amusing at first slowly as it progress to another episodes the story turns to be very interesting and sad. Here’s the links if you wanted to know more http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jigoku_Shoujo The embedded message in the story means a alot and well appreciated if you know what i mean. I like the term the Hell Girl says: "When one life is cursed two graves are dug”… she talks in a cool authoritive slang. For me its worth watching and teaches a few good useful lesson that "If you do unto somebody you also get the same price". Awesome. The graphics are great especially those traditional eastern design and styling on the clothing and infrastructures.

SIXTY-7 aka James Bond supercar.

90% ready! All new supercar "SIXTY-7" dub the JAMES BOND car will be rolling soon by mid December live preview on videos before its initial launching by 20th-24th December where people can start download it at our official websites. Its final feature will rival its potential opponent the "Austin DB-7" which both looks alike resemble super spy elite vehicle for thrill seeker. Thanks for two days break working on SIXTY-7 all job left was the wheelsets. I must say feel proud to complete overall 90% of entire models before launching day. Its rear design was something i should be proud of, new outside the brain design layout with extremely aerodynamic hatchback supercars that turn heads. To cut the story short its like having Austin DB-7, Nissan 350Z, Lamborghini GTR and Mc Laren F1 into one package. After all thanks to NEMIXIS genetic links end of 2006 models from SupermotoXL going to be a blast!

Grandma counting days.

I received news from my father who went to visit grandma and said my mom, dad and sister wouldn't be back home this week from our birth town because grandma was in a hospital in critical condition. He didn't say much details how ill my gandma was in but i can feel that she doesn't have enough time but counting days. The last time i met before she left outside my town under the care of my aunt she was moderately weak and suffer memory loss. She thought i was Peter who was my cousins. I held her hand, gave some advice and prayer to enlighten up her souls and gave courage to face life. I gave my grandma a kiss on the forehead before i leave under my auntie care. Grandma eyes gave me a last hopefull stare onto my eyes leaving deep message which only i could understand what she hope for, these are her embedded message:
- Love your family
- Forget not your grandparents
- Pray for us and the family
- Seek happiness and seek your own new life
- Forget me not and seek me in heaven
- Sorry for what i have done
- I love you the most
- Remember your root
- Seek not material but seek joy and happiness in the family
- Always be by my side and promised you shall have happy family and children

But today she was on the hospital bed, nothing can do at deteriorating age nearly reaching 100 years old. Even she was in a very critical state i didn't even felt any sadness or shed tears. This is me, when people passed away i always stood, emotionless, felt nothing...not sad..not happy..not even feeling doubt. There's only one word that always keep echoing in my mind: "LIFE MUST GO ON". At my grandma age she really worth living and enjoyed life to the fullest. Not many people could enjoy life nearly reaching 100 years. I accept the fact if heaven take her back into gods land. Why should i felt sad? Nothing lives forever. In the pass two of my grandpa on both family side have passed away without inform me that it happen years before i get to known they have long gone. My family always keeps me away from the fact my grandpa was no more exist but return to heaven fear that i broke into tears and affect my studies in university. After i was informed years after, i stood paused and puzzled..then keep continue doing my work where i was paused. No feelings of regret or missing in my life. When people passed away i have to accept what have happened naturally, unless due to unatural cause like accident or human act causes death...now that is unacceptable.
I learned that when people passed away:
- Don't torture yourself because of someone depart, you're making her soul feel sad about you.
- Be happy he/she have returned to the creator.
- Never make a fake sadness, you're faking his/her your devotion to her soul.
- Sad people cannot accept the fact of life, they are un-independant.
- To comfort the departed soul we must full fill his/her last wish.
- When life depart a new born will rise onto our world.
- Some people to be remembered in a history book, some just to be forgotten till dust.
- Science and technology can't save human at the end.
- The rich, the poor, the noble, the famous, the popular, the beautiful, the ugly, the politician and everyone who think he or she is immortal will also ended up as earth dust at the end of the day..hence everyone is equal at the end.
- Everyone will die soon, so make every sec, hours, days, year worth living. Enjoy life to the fullest.
- Pray for the dead that they may the find peace and happiness on the other world.
- We have soul. Just remember where should we go at the end of the day.

I'll pray that my grandpa spirit will always be on my grandma side holding her hands and reunited in the heavens when time comes. My prayer for her and may god blessed her for she haved pour her love onto us.

Cruise with the birds.

This afternoon at 3.00pm, the sun shines bright, the sky truely blue and the clouds gathers to greet the earth and heavens. Me and my buddy get out and ride our mountain bike and cycle along the coastal roads. As we expected the scenery around us was pleasant, green cotton like grass wave as the wind from the sea blows and the golden green leaf sparkle briliantly as the sun shine high above the clouds. It was a fantastic day to ride out and enjoy the nature. With high sea shown in the horizon againts the blue sky its like looking at KODAK moments photo shown on calendar. We spent hours riding along side of the coastal beach before we reach our destination. I gaze up looking at the sky, then comes a white stork flew high above us at very slow gentle pace almost equal to our pedalling speed. It flew so gracely along our side with only strong wind to lift the bird up without even flapping its big wing, it glide gently while gazing down looking on us as we cycle along side on the same path. Its white body againts blue atmosphere were striking resemble flourecent angels came down to earth. It has wing, free to go wherever the bird wishes to go. Which reminds me that we human always have the urge to be as free as the bird, seeking to explore the world, goes beyond the border, from sea to land looking down on the people high above and let the wind take us on to another world. I want to see what's above the white clouds. See the colors of the winds and how the gentle clouds form into heavenly soft flying fortress of heaven. I wish to be free as a bird have wings, free from trouble, free from commericalization, free from trouble, free to decide the future, free to explore the world, free from urban slavery and free from injustice civilization. I ride bikes because its the only tools which give me freedom to travel and discover the world outside my territory, the bike is my wing, my legs hands and will steer the path and my mind shall determine how far my urge to go to distance world. Not many people have chances to break free from stressfull life. All they think that freedom only bounded by materialism and commercialization gain then only happiness gain from there...that's a real fake happiness. As for me being out there with human powered two wheels send me out to seek happiness and joy as i discovery more beautiful thing along the was to discover the world. Never fear to go outside the box. Whenever i came back home i'll always say "wow! i must get back there again tomorrow and discover new places...its a wonderfull world out there!"

Blue Tuesday.

I'm glad we're all live under the blue sky, gazing up in the sky bring us relief and wonder how much freedom if we were up there gazing down while drifted by the wind which bring us further into another world as if we going to explore to end of the world. Blue atmosphere and the white clouds. Today is Tuesday, starting today i'm on 2 days holidays till tomorrow. I'm planing to go out cycling with my buddies further away from home distance towards a beautiful place where the the green grass sway greet as we pass by, the breezy wind cold air into our body and our hands try to reach the sky. I'm going to enjoy my whole afternoon till evening gazing up into the atmosphere in awe bringing back my sweet childhood memories where i once stood there playing kites in hope i could see my future and counting my age.

Great videos from TICK GTA.

Check this out. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=itRjhCCRrmE . I was googling my stuff to see how far my models been distributed and stumble this cool video from this cool dude named TICK from GTA who made this video clip using my very old trucks. Nice music video and game play, Thumbs up to TICK.

Plans for this week.

Things running well over at my website, some people come to me to help out doing some business, give ideas and achieve mutual gain and benefit on both side, This also help me to motivate create more models both publicly and backstage. I very happy and pleased for their support. This coming week i'll be having 4 days of holidays, which include Sunday till Tuesday. enough days to spent but at rushing pace. My heart pounding very hard whenever i think about finish up the models, worried if i couldn't finish it by Christmas eve especially before 4th December which is PEUGEOT Design contest closing date. sometimes it feels like in the position of my last contract for with several game developer when i try to meet their level of expectation on their delivery dates. Good thing it was all over. Today is Saturday. now lets see what’s on my timetable.

SATURDAY
------------------
12.00pm -lunch
1.00pm -pickup sister from work
2.30pm -repair my mountain bike
3.30pm -ride my mountain bike to off-roads
6.30pm -return home, take bath and wash clothes
7.30pm -dinner + social
8.00pm -finish up 3d models for Peugeot design event (outer chassis)
12.00pm -surf the net, forum, my websites and stuff
1.00am -zz..zzzzz..zzz...zzzzz


SUNDAY
------------------
6.30am -Go to church
9.00am -Cook Breakfast (advance meal for dinner)
10.00am -Family social
11.30am -Work on 3d models for PEUGEOT
1.30am -pack in my mountain bikes and gear into the car ready for trip.
2.15pm -pick up my cycling buddies.
3.00pm -away we go to for mountain bike off-roading outside the city far into the woods.
7.30pm -return home, take bath and wash clothes.
8.00pm -dinner + social
8.30pm -finish up 3d models for Peugeot design event (outer chassis)
12.00pm -surf the net, forum, my websites and stuff
1.00am -zz..zzzzz..zzz...zzzzz

Monday? Well I have to plan later after Sunday dinner.

Cats and Dogs goes to heaven.

I cycle to the City Fan Park just in the middle of the city, i stopped at the food & drink stall then head towards the nearby benches along with my cycling friends facing to the mid of the park. We having a good sunset snacks with burgers on my hand and suddenly some cats surrounded us wating for food crumbs fell from our hands. I pinch a thumbfull of my food and slowly handed over to one of the cats. The cats looked straight into my eyes looking for signs if i did sincerely give those food as warm invitation. I made a warm stare right back into the cat eyes saying its ok to pick it up. Slowly she approaches me as i lay the food on the bench, she grab it mouthfull and walk back a way a few feet from me. Then she put it down and "meowing" into a direction, 2 kittens run towards her, she is a mother of two. The kittens munch the food hastily leaving nothing for their mothers as she licks her kitten fur clean as they enjoy their evening dinner. She then turn towards me with a very warm stare and half blink as if it was trying to say thanks. The the mother and her kittens when away head back home where they wish to be.
I was born to love and to appreciate animals and other furry creature. Cats and Dogs are my best life partner when i was a kid. They protect me, they love me, they cuddle me when i'm sad, they accompany me when i'm scared and always by my side when i need them. 1 cat and 2 dogs, that was 15 years ago. My family have tradition and trust in these furry animal friends. They tought me something that i never forget for the whole life, "they are almost like human":
They have:
-love
-feelings
-soul
-care and responsibility to their children
-sacrifice
-sadness
-hate
-guilt
-sorrow
-happiness
-loyalty
-they can see what normal human can't see

They never:
-cheat, lied
-abandoned me
-hurt me
-steal
-evil intention

Dogs teaches me to be humble, caring and helpful, cats teaches me to be respectfull, patients and understanding. Most importantly responsible and caring for our own family. Most of my childhood life are protected and guided by these animals...they are the most trusted companion that god have created for humans. But yet some people neglect them and abuse them for they misunderstood these animal roles into our human life...but still cats and dog never retaliate or fight back unless they are pushed into the corner to the limits. I hate to see people punish their animal or kick them around for things that they didn't do anything wrong. Some hate them because they are dirty useless and nuisance to the community. Some are killed for no reasons. Some abandoned with even a kiss goodbye All this because non of us understand their existance along side with human. Consequently these animal stray around us seeking shelter, love and most importantly waiting our warm touch as sign we care for them. At the end of the day their new born children will learn to fear and hate human because they never experinced love from us as we did to their parents.
The animal family stucture are no difference from our human family structure. If you observe more carefully they are much more family like and closer bonded and united between parents and child. Between their caring, love and relationship is a nice hugging, licks,chasing after each other, rubbing cheeks and rub each other body. As for us the new modern day human family, between family and children are bonded by materialism and money. Without material gain and interest family breakdown and quarell happens because the children demand for material gains cannot be full filled by parents. Childrens live showered by material bonds are highly spoiled and lack of real warm love. There's a rich family live across the road had a good loyal big black dog but the people in the house had a extremely spoil child and very strict father. Everyday i can hear and see the kids whack, beat the dog and scold for no apparent reasons. The child's father sometimes also scold the dog for making noises and annoying acts made by the dog. At times i pity the dog when he tried to stick his nose outside the gate trying to peer into other dog business outside the gate, wanted to join and enjoy true freedom...to bad his life bounded by bars and chains around the neck. Is this called fate for the dogs? To be security slave rather than part of the family?
You must remember cats and dog are human like in nature and they way the live and handle their life. The only difference is that they can't speak our language and everthing runs on four legs. The best way to communicate with cats and dogs is an eye contact. Cats and dog wouldn't understand how you feeling by just talking to them, but if you do an eye expression and then make eye contact with these animal they may well instantly understand you alot more than just talking, i always earn their trust by greeting them with an eye contact plus along side of warm expression. When you kick, beat or kill a cat or a dog its quivalent of kick, beat or kill a human. Think about it. Heavens awaits them, so where will you be?

87% got bad stuff.

I just got back from work late evening and i receive a call from my friend asking to fix his employer notebook and retrieve some missing files. So i took the task and head over to his work place. Upon meeting his employer i help fixed his stuff and salvage some files. Upon salvaging some lost file from his hardrive he (the employer have to face the fact that the guy who help salvaging some "Missing In Action" file is going to witness some "uhh ohh!" files and something that reflects that this notebook owner being a bad man and bad seed to the community. Hidden tax files, pornography, secret files, underground information and some stuff. Salvaging and sorting files including some black listed items is somehow a common task and nothing new for IT tech people, i have to live the fact i have to face such unexpected things. The person who request such services knew that some secretive data have to be exposed to a trusted person as long the person who handles the information is an ethical person and also doesn't leak out to the public. As an IT personnel i have witness too many truth on the good and the bad side of people who uses digital age of computerisation for personal gain and fortune especially the dumb ones who dunno or careless using a computer.

Here are my statistic and conclusion encounter such computer user:

1. For every 10 notebook user 7 would keep or hide pornography.
2. For every 10 PC user 8 would have pornography at home and office.
3. For every 10 employer/manager 6 would hide files away from the local authority.
4. For every 10 financial function pc 5 would have hidden info about money laundring or betting. Will be increase by 7 during hot season like World Cup and soccer.
5. For every 5 people surfing the net, 3 people would surf the pornographic content and download illegal licenced material.
6. Finally, for every 10 computer user 8 people can't use their common sense on how to use or stupid enough to use a computer. At this age? oh please!
7. For every 10 computer accessing the net, 9 will have backdoor program, holes in Firewall, spyware, open port and Zombie computer (hacked and control by hacker or third party server listening their network port).

Some people try to outsmart me by hiding those file in such way asuming i couldn't trace i down. Wrong, in just few minutes i can easily sniff it back and put it on their face. I've been working in lots of places and corporate buildings, people who encounter IT people including both lower and higher management have to respect the fact that this people knew too much secret than any other typical job under the roof. Survey shown 98% top management fear IT/MIS personnel because they knew to much and have to face it that its their nature of work to encounter and encapsulate information that should known to limited people. They used to say old folks have lots of nice fairy tails and myths to tell to young ones, IT/MIS people however have have lost of real truth to tell about the world around. Peace.

Social stuff.

It seem for the past two days until now i haven't touch my 3d modeler tools to work on my project. From Tuesday until this Wednesday my timetable full of social activity like family gathering, e-mails, forum and negotiate some deals on 3d products over the internet.
Actually its a good thing i put some time aside so i can spend more time with people in my family and social gathering rather than sticking too long concentrate too for personal gain. Else thing might get to much fanatics over the work. I hope i don't fall into geek category. uaaaahhhh..zzz..zzz time to sleep.

3 months before 2006. Gotta catch up!

Next year is 2007, i don't know how much achievement i could achieve in 3 months before end of the year. But here the task in need to settle before new year:
1. PEUGEOT CONTEST due 4th Dec
2. Project "SIXTY-7" due 16 Dec. - Commercial Project.
3. LINUX Suse, mastering
4. Project CD 20 ---> "SIXTY-7" second variant - Commercial Project
The "commercial project" means that not only the car design made for 4x4evo1/evo2 add-on vehicle models in game but also its deisgn to be commercialized into potential area where investor or other people who wants to make business with it. Who knows it might someday made and put onto real road along side with other supercars. I've announce my intention over at our community forum at my website to my buddies, hope they would support my case and together achive our desire for success. Success and fame once in a lifetime so i won't waste much time.

Sunday! sunday! sunday!

Well today i don't want to show you my cooking. Emmm...cuz it doesn't looks that cool or healthy enough to be viewed by you but...hee heee heee.. it only looks good for me only. All i can tell is just 2 dozen of hot dogs, breads, butter and iced orange juice for breakfast and lunch enough to give me tremendous power to cycle my mountain bike on afternoon usual rides into the forest trails. Few hours till evening, yes it works! it did give me power! i felt energetic.. beat all the rider that eat my dust and victory to the finish line. Hot dog rocks!...and cheap too.

Doze off while watching anime.

Yesterday i fell asleep on the couch infront of TV last night from 10.30am to 5.40am with ANIMAX animation channel runing few episodes as i snore silently all night till morning. The nights was cold, the air conditioning unit turned up to 18 degree. I didn't realized how tired i could be, it hard to open my eyelid once it tried to shutdown and blur my view. I had no power to fight the force, i had to play along with it and doze immediately into dream land. I suppose to surf the net join the forum and post some picture to share with my buddies at my website but i think all those daylight office work, bad office PC monitor CRT refresh rays, extreme cold tempreature and night dinner cooking task suck my body energy and shut me down to hibernation mode , I've planned to spent the night on Z-MODELER tools, online GUNBOUND game and do some COREL graphic work on my site banner. This Saturday i'll make sure my body stay awake and do some usefull work and hobbies. I got less than a month to settle the PEUGEOT designs. I must win that design contest!.

Avoid stress life. Relax. It will save your life.

Seriously if you suffer stress, migrain or extreme pressure worrying a lot of stuff immediately get something to ease your mind, relax, get out and do some outdoor activity, walking beside the beach, play video games or enjoy some drinks at the coffee shop. Having your brain under preasure thinking to much about work or worrying things that clog your mind can lead to serious health problem. The most distinctive serious problem you will get is ULCER or so called internal bleeding if your organ due to imbalance movement of your blood in your artery which is after effect from your brain function.
3 years ago, my father cough a pine of blood (a full glass of blood) out from his mouth and fainted on the dinner table in the evening. We have to carry him to the hospital. The doctor say he got Ulcer on his stomach (swollen and bleeding on his intestine). In 24 hours doctor found out that he suffer to much stress and migraine, it might be that he was stress and overwork at his work place. I ask my mom how's he doing and work and things he carried out in the family, my mom says he got to many projects and too many burden too handle for the past few month which visible indicate his tiredness. My dad is a well built and strong body and bones, always go out doing some sports and forest activity. I hardly believe such severe mental stress could affect his strong body and health. My father was held in the hospital for 3 days and two nights with his arm poke in a tube of fresh pine of blood to replace the one he loss. I stayed beside his bed every night to care him, he is weak but slowly he regain his health to normal status at the end of the day until he come out from the hospital. Thank god he recovered so fast within days before he return back to his office for work, his boss deicded to lighten up his workload and reduce his project by distributing it equaly to his subordinates. Untill that day he looks lively and active as always.
Those event serve me as a reminder to take care of myself not to be overburden by jobs or thinking to much about career. Our purpose of life is to enjoy and not to be eternal servant of global commercialization and urban workforce. I always minimised my stress and burden at work place by doing this simple tasks:
1. Always finish your work before going home, never keep any leftover work for tomorrow else you'll be thinking and annoy about it over night and stressed up.
2. Relax turn on your music, I always bring my SONY WALKMAN MP3 to wok and list 1 GB worth of music. It really keep me entertained, relax and at the same time enjoy my work.
3. Do the FIFO work. (First In, First Out). This technique I learn when working in KFC restaurant when I was young. Do the first task you receive, finish it, when you're done go to the next. Parallel work may speed it but you'll get stressed up.
4. Munch some bit of candy or chocolate mint in your mouth to refresh your mind.
5. Avoid coffee! It contain caffien to force you alert and pushes you beyond the limit of tiredness and confusion.
6. Socialized with someone around you, few jokes and laugh can effectively reduce stress and decrease risk of headache.
7. Walk around, open your windows and see beyond the horizon and breath fresh air for few minutes before get back to work.

If you follow a healthy working ethics, handle a job smartly and well manage your working plan ahead of you, it will save you trouble thinking what to do next and how to cope with the burden, your mind will be free once you get everthing done correctly without getting permanent health hazard like stroke. Live a good life!

Just like other thursday.

Today suppose to be a happy day for me:
1. Hazy started to deteriorate and can see a bit blue sky...get to enjoy good time cycling.
2. Broke the ice on missing ideas and design for PEUGEOT.
3. Its Thursday! a few cycle of night sleep will be thursday 26th Oct...can't wait for surprise.
4. Burger!...mmmmmmmmmmmmm!

On the bad side however:
1. Bought noodle for breakfast but they forgot to tag along some soup and chilis that suppose to come in a set like the rest of the customer have. Got it 10 minutes later. Luckly i didn't pull out "the finger".
2. Some idiot turn on the air-cond set to high in my department, i'm freezing!
3. Mentally dead behind the desk, repeatative and support jobs sucks. My unused programming skills deteriorating.
4. Stupid low life driver blocking the road.
5. Camera batteries are dead, missed kodak moments shots on women fighting over boyfriend at the shop.

Wonderfull thursday i'd say. not!.

The evening rest and my dear grandma.

Today, i haven't touch any Z-modeler or other 3d tools to continue working on my 3d projects. Instead i took whole evening gather around with my family and cousins for a chat, had good delicious dinner, watch TV Movie: Alien Vs Predator, installed some games into my NOKIA NGAGE handphones and before midnight prepare my cycling gear for next evening ride with my buddies after get back from working hours next Thursday evening, pray that it wouldn't rain tomorrow.
Previously during dinner time my mom told me my grandma condition began to deteriorate both physically and mentally due to aging factor. She reported that my grandmother began to hallucinating and talking on her own as if someone was there on the wall, well its a comon symptom among old people who reached their time limit and began to count days to their lasts. Actually those action give some chills behind my spine, i knew when their days comes they will able to see things of another higher planes as if their souls are part of this terrestrial zone as their bidy to weak to accomodate spiritual gains. No bluffing matters, i also experienced accidental OBE (Out of Body Experience) which relates to existance of invisible entity. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Out-of-body_experience. Since then i strongly believe there life after death, the heavens, Our Saviour of soul and Our Creater. Before my grandmother left back to her hometown under my cousin care at LIMBANG city, i manage to spent the whole day beside my grandma who was lying on the bed with my hand holding her weak hands. She stare at me full of hope and deep feeling for her grandson. I kiss my grandma's forehead telling her not to worry and keep on praying to Jesus and God. May bright light shine upon her. Few minute later she close her eyes with calm smile, slowly she fell asleep. The next day she was sent to her hometown where she was born to be taken care by my mother's big sister. I hope to meet my gandma again on Christmas.

Flsh back: Ahhh... my very very old work place!

I found several photo snapped using my old Nokia 3200 handphone, among them are pictures of my first MIS office in Kuching. This is my first old MIS office back in the year 2001, its a starter version where i have to help a small manufacturing company facilitate IT facilities from scratch. Powered on Windows NT Server and CRM system on manufacturing side. Overall its a small manufacturing company with 50 man power. As for me i'm the only MIS people aid 50 people on IT support plus since MIS dept can do so called office miracle the boss ask me to do some "wonder" works outside my job scope: creating ISO standard and format for company operation, create business presentation, advertising and graphics, clerical works and some dumb work that i couldn't understand not even my boss (Director) or his worker could do it, non capable even its is as simple as ABC. This company is a nightmare for a single MIS personnel to handle such work with no MIS budget at hand only to salvage and recycle computer parts else where. However i gained a lot of experienced working with this company in two years. Since i was allocated on administrative side working closely and directly under Board Of Director arms i manage to learn how the company runs and how their business operation works. I learn huge amount knowledge on business corporate on how they establish sales, create business links with overseas, how to delegate sales, services, manage work force, handle company budget, government tenders, manufacturing system, some operation bloopers and marketting mistakes they made. Almost everyday they pull me up joining Board of Directors meeting even ita not related to my departmental operation but its quite an event.
For a small company it face lots of heavy competitors and sometimes bad management leads to lost profit and also creditors/debtors. Anyways this is the company which i can say worth staying for 2 years and laugh about the fact i work in very comedic company:
1. Your boss always wrong, the employee always right.
2. Don't mess around with your worker, they are your asset...they also will scratch your BMW.
3. Get ready your weapons, the loan shark are coming.
4. Get ready your car beside the windows, the loan shark are coming.
5. Never employ husband and wife in the same manufacturing zone.
6. No space to park? Fork lift to the rescue.
7. Boss always lousy at typing, they are not always smart.
8. Every general meeting is always a good meal.
9. Don't trust your office boy.
10. Don't trust claim and receipt, prefer cash and carry first before carry out operation.
11. Don't worry what ever you do, your supervisor or you boss will be in deep shit.
12. When they give you a question, just answer "YES" or "NO". Don't say "Aaaa.." you're giving to much option if you do that.
13. Sales agent have the higher heirarchy on the company, don't mess with them.
14. Recycle everthing, save the money.
15. IT people runs the company and prepare business proposal, the boss watch and learn.
16. The boss must never lose face even it takes to get cellphone newer than his staff.
17. No salary this week? Prepare a good speech.
18. 2 angry worker vs Managing director under the desk.
19. Before invest in a company just look how they feed the fish in their aquarium.
20. House keeping's the "finger" can shut the boss mouth.
21. If the boss on vacation at the end of the month, quickly get the Riot Police as soon as possible...angry hungry mob coming in.
So far i haven't have problem with people around my surrounding, i'm at neutral status that doesn't fall on both labour and admin sides. So i just merely happy go lucky witness looking at interesting event come and go inside the company. Before i left the company i manage to settle last IT implementation into their business premises: Electronic commerce system and E-payment system......but still they don't appreciate my one man mission project. Oh well i hope they enjoy my budget DIY program. They smartly terminate my contract once everyone completely educated on computers and need no supervision from MIS personnel just to cut out the budget. I should have left them dumb minded on computer rather than keep on lecturing on how to use those facilities. Oh well, glad i left the company before i went insane. Few days later i got contract from outside gaming company into UI design and began to work inhouse in Kuching. Then later move to another 3rd company as an IT staff. By 2005 i left and went over to MIRI city to start a new life again. Man! what a journey.

The hungry brain. Common symptom among brainy people.

Ever wonder why most people who think a lot and come up with ideas or stratergy are fat people? Not to discriminate them but its the fact that i experinced it on my own. When we use our brain to the max like keep on using our brain working our solution, ideas and stuff that keep our brain under pressure like me for continuous hours we will definetly experienced tiredness and our stomach will growl in hungryness. So all our energy and food stored in our body directly consume by our brain. I realised that our muscle only consume 30% of our body energy compare to our brain which suck up 70% when we use our brain to stress level.
That's why when people are stressed up and their mind keep worrying and thinking a lot of stuff these people will keep on grabbing some food, sweet drinks and even ciggarettes into their bodies to calm their emotion and brain, long term they will have higher chances of getting fat and overweight body. Thus these people seldom exercise or just only do light workout which doesn't do good to improve their health. Businessman, politician, administrative worker, office dweller and urban worker behind the clerical desk are the typical people who suffer these symptoms. Wanna proof? Just select any random company and see how many these fat collecters you can find in the buildings. I bet you'll get 79% out of 100.
My sister who work in the hospital witness these type of people coming in and out of the hospital having diabetes, arthritis, high blood sugar, stroke, heart attack and the most shocking of all they are as young as 26 years olds. I was there to hang around waiting to pick my sister up from work. Her job checking and diagnose sample of blood and other specimens from sick people, yeah! big pay i guess. When in look at those typical patient it reminds me: "That what you get when everyone work to hard for money and forget about what life is about". Oh i forgot, another person in his 24 years old have to go visit the hospital every 2 week to get his anus/annal screwed by a machine and suck all those bad chemical out from his body (KIMO Theraphy).
Back in year 2004, i concentrating too hard on my daily career in the office during the day and working out my 3d models project and some gaming contract. For almost 6 to 11 month i hardly done any excercise or cycling, my bike and cycling gear covered with dust and spider web. I was thinking too much of making some money and getting status for myself. My brain stressed out, tired and eat a lot of junks to calm my mind. The blood into my brain pumped a lot as i keep thinking and worrying a lot of stuff like what to do in the office work (MIS Dept) and thinking new ideas and due date project for my 3d models. The blood need to supply food into my brain as my brain worked hard 24 hours and contactly feed my mouth with food else my stomach keep on growling, sometimes my nose bleed. Strangely in the past when i did a cycling expedition for 450km a day, i didn't consume solid food along the ride, i just took 6 can of COCA-COLA to power me and that enough to keep my leg muscle going for 20 hours....i repeat 6x COLA to power me 20 hours on the road, but when i use my brain it took a whole table of food to feed my hungry brain in minutes. It happens only when i have to many project to handle and think about. Within just 7 months i gain from normal healthy man 55kg to overweight 79kg few year back. My gosh, plumpy and fat, those blubbly flesh pour out from my pants and when i sleep i felt so hot and my neck felt i had a big flubby rubber tied between my neck. My clothing size increase by 5 unit, heartbeat increased and sleeping time doubled and also sweaty. Those days was a nightmare, my bad i didn't join my friend back into mountain bike racing and several cycling activities in 2004, so i remain in like big bear in hibernation mode, must be lazy again.
In year 2005, i've completed my contract and project and moved to MIRI city with a job. It was a beautiful place near the seaside, my mountain biking team in KUCHING city propose me to join a group of mountain biker in MIRI city, from there i joined them upgrade my bike and my life return to healthy normal life just like my old muscular days. ho! ho!.. Others than that i still doing some gaming and 3d works with full internet access on broadband services, that was a plus. My life was good, work and physical activity well balances 50/50. I 'm getting slim, drop to 63kg, i got my six pack stomach back and get my skin tanned again with all natural vitamin D sunlight. I feel alive and strong. Anyways i still have a bad habit having 3 plates of king size dinner at night, good thing my active metabolic body burn them down overnight and also thanks to daily mountain biking activities.
It made me realise how fragile our live is if we keep on working chasing some money without putting few slot of time aside for physical activities and some outdoor life. My grandma who always do some daily gardening, farming and doing heavy house chores now live nearly 100 years old but now counting days. However some successful people strap in cash struggling their live on the hospital bed on their 56 years old with lots of diseases which no mean of cure can save them. Every time i step into the hospital and witness these scene i would shake my heads in shame. "Wealth won't save your soul". So remember "Prevention is better than cure".

She have feeling for me?

Well in the office i walk pass an admin department, as usual one of the girl with glasses greet a shy smile at me. We always exchange such shy smile almost daily if we stumble each other. Sometimes she try to peek me in the corner waiting for me to appear. There are times if i approaches to her place to do some technical work should we keep quite and as if waiting for either of us to make a move but we're to shy to talk about. She is older than me yet she looks mature and well behave. Not arrogant but lady like. I wish she's the first to make her step and say something like "Why are you doing later?". Those people around me especially the office auntie really quite supportive when it come to helping me get personal info about her. However she like to have a nice afternoon tea. When ever i approach to her i felt a bit cowardly and strong warm feeling for her. It must be that cupid hangging around with me all day try to eliminate my bachelor status.

Saving up for bigger vehicle for my father.

Well after numerous projects i manage to save up some budget for future purchasing. I'm planing to get my father bigger 4 wheeler. I don't plan to go for bank loan because of the interest rate they charge and not worth putting bet on it. So i'm going for cash and carry. His old Toyota engine could keep up with heavy load and its time for me to get him a good nice 4x4 ride. My mom didn't know i planing to get my father a 4 wheeler, maybe a PRADO but if she knew what i kept for she would say i should keep it and buy a house. I don't have any thoughts of getting my own house since we have another one on the other side of the city (Kuching). I guess she meant getting a house and a wife. I knew her intention but hey i need to work hard on both side. PRADO is my dad's dream 4 wheeler, always dream getting a good wheel roam around the country side just like his brother and sister. I guess i should pick one soon for him the best by next year...work hard David!

12 years, i love cycling.

Ha! ha! its Sunday again. As usual its about me and my bike together get away from urban concrete and dive into dense green mother nature. I love cycling. I've been mountain biking for more than 12 years, travel thousands of kilometers, discover beautiful places, people, culture, civilization, dangerous adventure and won lots of medal in mountain biking racing, yeah! Mountain biking is already part of my life, can't live without it. It gives total freedom to go everywhere i wish to be and get me there and show the world how big it is and how beautiful the place we live in and the people along the way. Its the best way to seek the truth about the living and fantasy places that was once we admire on magazine cover vacation spot and explore the diverse culture and country around the globe. I'm glad to be born to love cycling, it made me dare to explore unknown world, fear nothing, fear no pain, be strong, independant, mental power and test the limit of human body. With all the medals i gain from mountain bike racing both national and international i guess i pushes my limit to the max. Felt happy when all my competitors eat dust but at the end of the racing event its all about enjoying the sports and friendship. Sometimes i forgot about winning and stay within the crowd for a good laugh and sharing experience. As for my body, i always involve in brutal accident, crash and serious injury, scars everywhere around my body and sometimes i manage to see my own bones beneath the flesh as result of serious flesh cut and wounds....any did i felt bad?, nope i'm damn super proud! yeah. For mountain biker these freak event is something noble and proud to have some punishment over my body. Sometimes when i look at old cuts wound and sticthes on my body it always serve me as a history book and sweet memories of cycling. Well there positive side torturing my body through heavy accidents, crash, wounds and cuts, it made me tougher and skin become thicker like armour...ha! ha! you won't get that simply through normal workout or gym. Everytime i ride in a week i always loose weight about 5 kg in a week. So on Saturday and Sunday night i always eat like a king as if there no tomorrow, yup! high carbohidrate, sugar and more meat..i love my life, diet sucks!. Sometimes i hate driving my car, especially when i are cruising at the speed of a bicycle on the road to my destination, no enjoyment and nothing but depression behind the car steering wheel.
I always wanted some cold breezy gush of wind hitting my face, touch the blue sky and cycle along golden green grass and beautiful backdrop of mountain and ocean beside me. I learn the most important thing in cycling: "You don't see the world by just reading some books, its better to go out there and experience the real world on your own". So i did and i never regret it.

Good times...

I wish i had a month of holidays...not. Got few anime episode i need to finish off viewing. Nice story plots and other touching stuff. Great way to enjoy some spare time and clear off my mind on my hobbies. The hazy days out side the house keep me indoor all the time. But that can stop me riding tomorrow. Else i would have to sit infront of computer doing 3d models again.

Yup! new add-on kits for 3d models

Yes, got my websites updated with new stuff for fans to download, Texture Theme Pack for latest models add-on kit. Hopefully mods fans and 4x4evo community will download to extend choices and variation on an existing models. CYBORX, EXODUS, XENO 2 and XCALIBUR now ready to dress up with new texture kit. Downloadables at 3 major websites under "Texture Pack" section.
http://www.geocities.com/SupermotoXL
http://4x4evo.net/smxl
http://www.chimpusmaximus.com/SupermotoXL
As for progress on other 3d models including project "SIXTY-7" supercars i'll going to slow down and make way for PEUGEOT design contest which need to meet deadlines by early December. Anyway its still in the blueprint because the design is very tricky and judges looking foward on very simplified design and ecologically friendly to the environment. So far i sketched 3 designs but non of them looks quite OK. Hrrrrmmmmmm.. really frustrated when i can't squish out ideas from my brain.

Oh yeah another thing, a special greetings to one of our gaming fans of 4x4evo1/evo2 community: Happy birthday Volvo (his nickname), study hard and success career in the future.

Cool!! Happy i am, new parts for my bike.

Allright! yeah. I'm really damn happy today, yes! yes! Finally i receive new bike parts replacement for my front shocks, just arrive at my home. I've purchase order a new MANITOU MINUTE 130mm travel front suspension from my friends bike shop to replace my 5 year old broken Orange MANITOU SX-R 100mm travel which have catridge and damping leakage. Hopefully this new fork perform well both crosscountry racing and freeride trails riding. The new shocks costs me a lot and could by me a new notebook PC but instead i should invest something worth while on my bike. Good bye Orange fork, hello black fork. I was amaze with this new fork, it looks tougher in contruction and have longer height for safe and confidence in downhill decent ride. Adjustable height from 100mm to 130mm suspension suppelness. Air preassurise, coil spring and oil damping technology. In fact this is my 9th front suspension replacement in 11 year of mountain biking activity. In the evening i quickly unwrapped the box and install on my bike, it fits well except the upper steering tube have surplus longer height which need to be cut tomorrow at my friends bike shop. Overall looks, my bike looks much tougher and macho. But feeling bad because there's unbalance in color coordination and originality looks, Black suspension fork on orange bike?! Hmmmm.... doesn't looks very tasty but i'll have to live up with the fact and ride for performance in mind. Btw i have kept enough budget to upgrade the bike as the parts getting worn out, its been 5 years i haven't change my parts a bit.

Hazy Tuesday, more time on site update.

Today i suppose to go out cycling with my friend but i declined because its hazy out there, visibility shorten to 1km no thanks to our neighbouring country who started some rampant open forest fire. The thick smog now spreading fast reaching Singapore and up north-east, might take week until we able to see blue sky. It maybe a good day for me to take a break and spent more times infront of my computer and get on with my models website update. My desk kinda messy with custom made CPU case making hissing noises yet stay cool below critical tempreature. I've just created Texture THEME PACK ready to be uploaded before Thursday which offer variable texture theme for my favorite vehicle models which i created last year till early 2006. Its going to be a blast. Yeah!

Hellooooo Kitty!

In a very corner of the house on cold Monday morning: "Shuuu!.... Shuuu!... stay away from me... can't you see i'm sleeping ...zzzz ..zzzz ..zzzzz."

Sunday is here again. Going up the hills.

Sunday, once again me and my buddy went off to the hilly country side for mountain biking. There are about 18 of us going in for 5 hours ride through dusty and hard pack trails leading toward hills and valleys. The trails was a bit wet and damp due to Saturday overnight rains and the weather is not that favourable too yet hazardous because of hazy condition brought in from neighbouring country bush fire. Visibility: 4km. Anyways that doesn't hinder us from riding. As usually we go up and down, up and down and wave in through very technical path with huge obstacles, slippery loose cliff, big natural pot holes and sharp edgey turns. My front shocks: 100mm year 2000 MANITOU SX didn't perform well that day because the damping chamber was leak and irreplaceble. Its time to change a new ones. The longer we travel the more tired we get, exhausted but good thing our heart rate are stable and enough to pump our muscles to keep on going. They way we ride through the trails is like competing among ourself who got to reach the finishing point. Its is racing instead of fun ride because most riders in there have this road biker attitude. So 30% of the trails before we reach the finishing line we sprint like hell leaving the packs like there's no tomorrow. Few hours later we reached to our final destination. I got top 4th spot 1 minutes behind the third. It took 30 minutes to wait for others to return back to our gathering spot. We took a good nice rest, pop-up few cans of cold Isotonic drinks and had a few laughs, At 7.15pm we load our bikes into the car and head back home. Once i reach home i clean my bike, wash clothes, baths, dinner and straight away head to bed...did i forget something... oh yes! website update! ....mmmm... maybe tomorrow..too tired...