Grandma counting days.

I received news from my father who went to visit grandma and said my mom, dad and sister wouldn't be back home this week from our birth town because grandma was in a hospital in critical condition. He didn't say much details how ill my gandma was in but i can feel that she doesn't have enough time but counting days. The last time i met before she left outside my town under the care of my aunt she was moderately weak and suffer memory loss. She thought i was Peter who was my cousins. I held her hand, gave some advice and prayer to enlighten up her souls and gave courage to face life. I gave my grandma a kiss on the forehead before i leave under my auntie care. Grandma eyes gave me a last hopefull stare onto my eyes leaving deep message which only i could understand what she hope for, these are her embedded message:
- Love your family
- Forget not your grandparents
- Pray for us and the family
- Seek happiness and seek your own new life
- Forget me not and seek me in heaven
- Sorry for what i have done
- I love you the most
- Remember your root
- Seek not material but seek joy and happiness in the family
- Always be by my side and promised you shall have happy family and children

But today she was on the hospital bed, nothing can do at deteriorating age nearly reaching 100 years old. Even she was in a very critical state i didn't even felt any sadness or shed tears. This is me, when people passed away i always stood, emotionless, felt nothing...not sad..not happy..not even feeling doubt. There's only one word that always keep echoing in my mind: "LIFE MUST GO ON". At my grandma age she really worth living and enjoyed life to the fullest. Not many people could enjoy life nearly reaching 100 years. I accept the fact if heaven take her back into gods land. Why should i felt sad? Nothing lives forever. In the pass two of my grandpa on both family side have passed away without inform me that it happen years before i get to known they have long gone. My family always keeps me away from the fact my grandpa was no more exist but return to heaven fear that i broke into tears and affect my studies in university. After i was informed years after, i stood paused and puzzled..then keep continue doing my work where i was paused. No feelings of regret or missing in my life. When people passed away i have to accept what have happened naturally, unless due to unatural cause like accident or human act causes death...now that is unacceptable.
I learned that when people passed away:
- Don't torture yourself because of someone depart, you're making her soul feel sad about you.
- Be happy he/she have returned to the creator.
- Never make a fake sadness, you're faking his/her your devotion to her soul.
- Sad people cannot accept the fact of life, they are un-independant.
- To comfort the departed soul we must full fill his/her last wish.
- When life depart a new born will rise onto our world.
- Some people to be remembered in a history book, some just to be forgotten till dust.
- Science and technology can't save human at the end.
- The rich, the poor, the noble, the famous, the popular, the beautiful, the ugly, the politician and everyone who think he or she is immortal will also ended up as earth dust at the end of the day..hence everyone is equal at the end.
- Everyone will die soon, so make every sec, hours, days, year worth living. Enjoy life to the fullest.
- Pray for the dead that they may the find peace and happiness on the other world.
- We have soul. Just remember where should we go at the end of the day.

I'll pray that my grandpa spirit will always be on my grandma side holding her hands and reunited in the heavens when time comes. My prayer for her and may god blessed her for she haved pour her love onto us.